4.11.2005

Fear not . . .

For a long time I had struggled with the feelings of fear and other affiliated emotions, such as anxiety, doubt and worry. Some specific examples include fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of uncertainty, and fear of hurt/pain. Sometimes, I was filled with so much anxiety, I could not move or react due to the overwhelming emotion. Also, while growing up, I feared social situations, until I got over it (partially) with the help of families and friends. If you didn't know me well and just met me, you would be very surprised that I had a social phobia.

I researched studies, read Christian books about it, and received prayer for this problem. Pastoral counselors and friends have cited lack of faith, distrust/mistrust, depending on my endeavors and not depending more on God. Recently, at church, we had a guest minister talk about those emotions holding us back. It didn't take long that she was talking about me.

Dealing with these issues, it took me years to realize my anxious thoughts and feelings were based on my feelings of doubt that God will not take care of that circumstance, feelings of distrusting God that He will pull me out of that situation, and feelings that I was not worthy of His attention. It was a long process. My faith and my trust in Him have grown tremendously that I've been able to deal with these thoughts and learn how to manage the feelings. Although I have struggles, I know that God is good and righteous. He will ALWAYS be with me. Praise Him!

Like I said, it's still a process, but now I can give any situation up to the Lord. It's cliche, but its so true. Once I placed my trust and belief that God is not here to harm me, then my anxiety became less of a problem. Another factor that has helped me is to bring circumstances and thoughts to God and to others. Once spoken from my lips, the problem was no longer hidden. They no longer bound me as problems, even though they were still present. Once I brought up to the issue to another person, it was a relief. No, it was a blessing.

Even if I still feel fear or anxiety or worry, I know that my God is bigger than any emotion. He is bigger than any circumstance, and He is bigger than any problem I face. I know my God is working behind the scenes.

One book I found helpful in dealing with this problem and may be useful to others is authored by John MacArthur, called Anxiety Attacked. It gives biblical principles and applications how to deal with your anxious thoughts and circumstance. It also has a bible group section for group study.


Today's verse Psalms 1:7 (New King James Version)

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge,
But fools despise wisdom and instruction.

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