Memories about 9/11

It's just too early for me to see this film. It may have opened up today, but I'm just not ready. When I saw the recent previews at theatres, my stomach automatically tightened. Although I think it is a film that should be made, I don't want to see it. At least for right now, I don't want to make the effort.

I've heard good reviews and disturbing comments about the film.

I didn't realize that the film would affect me so much. When I first heard that they were planning to make the movie, like other people I thought it was just too early for a release. I still have vivid memories about it. I live within a mile and a half from the Pentagon.

I arrived at the Pentagon metro stop minutes before the plane crashed. As soon as I got into the train, it hit the building. I didn't know it at the time, but that's when it happened. That next week, I talked to my bus driver and he mentioned that as soon as he departed from the off ramp, he heard a large boom.

After I arrived at my office building lobby during that morning, I was directed by K____, from Marketing, to the small gym area where dozens of staff members were watching the CNN news clips of the Twins Towers. We watched as we try to piece together about what was happening in NY. Then, we saw a news clip about the Pentagon. I was totally shocked as I watched the news about my metro stop location where I just left 20 minutes before I arrived to the building.

During those morning and early afternoon hours, the DC area was in mayhem. The metrorail areas were shut down, and I don't think that metro busses were traveling on routes. Everyone in the city was desperate to get out, to get some news, and to get to loved ones. No one knew what was going on. I remember e-mail barrages about what people thought that the Capital area was hit, the Smithsonian area was burned, and the White House was attacked. A co-worker who drove into the city that day got us out, but it took us hours to get out of the city. All lines were busy. It was a total shock. As we drove at a snail's length, we could clearly see the gray and dark cloud coming from what we assumed to be the Pentagon area.

Although it has been almost five years since it has happened, I still remember the aftermath. I currently live in the same apt since it has occurred. I can still hear the helicopters and jets flying over the Pentagon and DC areas. Military and police sirens were heard next door on Rte 395 for several weeks. For five days straight after 9/11, I smelled ash, electricity, burned rubber. It took days before the fire and smoke to stop. I eventually got home safely in the early evening. I later found out that other co-workers actually walked home from the office. As soon as I turned on the TV, there was only the news. When I watched the news, I felt the most loneliest. I wondered where was God during this whole time.

Even when it finally calmed down, life had dramatically changed. After the traumatic event, the WMATA switched our metro stop from Pentagon to the next stop going south, Pentagon City, and the busses were routed to that stop as well.

When people finally got over the shock, then the immediate effects on the locals came into play. If you ever been to the DC area, you know that this is a very diverse city filled with different types of people with different cultures, religions and class. The next few weeks people were suspicious of other people. At the metro stops, the supermarkets, the workplaces, people didn't trust one another. Before 9/11, nobody cared if they stared at your work badge. For some folks, it served as some type of trophy that identified you as some type of government or military worker. After 9/11, people turned their badges over or hid them so that strangers wouldn't know who you were.

In particular, I could watch folks staring at olive skinned people with disdain and possible harm. Neighbors didn't trust neighbors. Colleagues didn't trust their colleagues. People were looking for someone to blame. It was a scary time for everyone.

It was interesting to watching people at the metro stations or in some other public area. So interesting, it was ironic that I seen numerous 'thank you's to the American people on billboards from the Kuwaiti government commemorating the liberation of their country from the first Gulf War.

My eyes are watering as I'm writing this post. I may write more later.